


Sinking

by Jacksonian



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Chloe Decker Finds Out, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pegging, Post-Season/Series 03, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Chloe Decker, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-01 03:03:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18327317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacksonian/pseuds/Jacksonian
Summary: Post finale of Season 3. Lucifer is stuck in his own thoughts, frozen, and sinking quickly into depression when his world comes crashing down around him.





	1. Frozen in Fear

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a writer, I just had to get this out of my head so it doesn't interrupt the other fanfic I'm trying to do. I'll try to write more but I can't make any promises. Also, this was originally written at 4am today and it's not beta-ed. 
> 
> Inspired to actually post what I write by wollfgang

The world stopped.

 

He saw the red skin of his arm as he reached out to her. He was a monster. No wonder she was terrified and in shock. His breathing was becoming erratic.

 

_What’s happening to me? What am I? I... I killed someone._

 

Short breaths coming faster, he looked up into her eyes and felt a searing pain through his heart. _She’s scared of me. Maybe she should be. I am evil. I am the Devil._ Pain lanced through his body, stealing his breath completely, and blurring his vision. His wings throbbed as his adrenaline began to crash and allow the bullets to make themselves known.

  
"Chloe... please" he whispered, afraid at the thought of making too much noise and frightening her further. He felt as though the world was cracking around him, about to shatter. "Please, I'm sorry."  


He dropped to his knees, suddenly feeling lightheaded. Hot tears began making their way down his face. Choking sobs burst forth from his chest. "Please...."

 

_Forgive me, help me, please… I love you, be not afraid._

 

The words weren’t working... why couldn’t he speak? Why couldn’t he breathe? Why couldn’t he see?

 

His chest tightened again, and his head fell forward toward his knees. He focused on the floor, bloody feathers everywhere. A reminder that regardless of the panic attack now gripping him, there were bigger problems than just remembering to breathe. He killed Cain. _Oh Father_ , he KILLED Cain. He was a monster.

 

His wings forced themselves out of his back, bleeding profusely but trying their hardest to wrap around him, to provide him some small comfort. The world swam in his vision, the lack of oxygen and excessive blood less started to catch up with him...

  
"I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please I’m sorry" he could not stop saying it. He felt weak. He felt _wrong_. Honestly, he felt _DIRTY_. But he couldn’t move. _Take me back, I can’t stay here. I don’t deserve to be. I killed. I am a **murderer**._

 

Frozen on the floor of the crime scene, curled in a ball on the floor, oozing blood from his wings while seemingly the rest of his blood rushed through his ears. His frame was shaking, breaths coming irregular and at times, forgetting to come at all. Surely, he was in hell, if only he surrendered maybe the floor would swallow him up and take him home. Weakness. Fear. Frozen in pain, agony really, both physical and mental. Shaking like a hypothermia victim. But he’s not a victim. He is the villain. He is pure evil. And now Chloe knows. _Oh god, Chloe... Chloe knows_. Tears come faster dripping down his nose to a small puddle on the floor as he hunches on his knees wings broken and shaking around him. Just as he’s about to pass out, he feels a hand touch his head. He tries to look but all he can do is struggle to breathe as he gives in to the darkness crowding his mind.

 


	2. Chloe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I quoted some lines from the show to pinpoint for readers exactly what happened in the conversation in canon without everyone needing to re-watch 3 minutes of the episode.
> 
> Chapter dedicated to Navaros & Myria83 for keeping me inspired enough to write more today. Sorry it's short, I'm breaking out chapters by perspectives.

_I am such an ass._

**Flashback – outside the building earlier (in canon)**

Chloe: “You were right. You tried to warn me about him and I didn’t listen to you. Although, who could believe anything you say? Angels, demons, immortal men…”

 

Lucifer: “Detective, I always tell you the truth.”

 

Chloe: “No. You tell me your truth. And I know that all these metaphors, they’re real for you. But I think … I think humoring them has just encouraged you and that’s on me. But I’m done.”

 

Lucifer:  “Detective…”

 

Chloe: “No more metaphors, no more devil talk. I’ve told you before, you may think that that’s what you are, but… I don’t see you that way.”

**End Flashback**

_I am such an ass. I treated him like he was crazy and all he’s ever done is save me. If this is all true, what else did I brush off as a metaphor? He said he died, but got better. Did he really die in that warehouse? He said he “went through hell” when I was poisoned. What does that mean?_

Chloe’s mind was swirling with the knowledge that not only had Lucifer been telling the truth the whole time, but that she is technically best friends with the Devil, and Hell is a real place. A place she may have earned a spot in with her blatant disrespect for its king. She had spent years now treating Lucifer like some mix between a petulant child and an insane magician. Though for some reason he kept coming back to her.

 

She had known… she _knew_ that Lucifer was magic, super strong, and mysteriously able to disappear. She had seen him be shot and remain standing. How had she not realized earlier?

 

_I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want him to have any power over me. He couldn’t be the Devil and still let me control him. The real Devil wouldn’t back down from punishing someone just because I ask him to. There's no way the man I know is evil incarnate. I shot him and he bled… but obviously, he **is** the Devil._

She finally looked up into his eyes, right as he looked at her, and she was shocked again by the horrible burnt flesh covering his body. He looked thinner… weaker in this form. It was terrifying to think of beautiful, sexy Lucifer, on fire, burning and rotting into the creature before her.

 

"Chloe... please" he whispered "please, I'm sorry." She watched as his face fell and he sunk to the ground on his knees before her. He looked so broken that she could hardly tear her gaze from him. But then, two beautiful wings emerged from his back slightly glowing but obviously causing him a great deal of pain. It took a moment for her to look beyond the magnificence of the huge celestial appendages to the blood and twisted feathers. Chloe struggled at the sight of so much blood seeping from such radient wings, torn between frozen limbs and the urge to fix the damage in front of her.

 

After several long moments, seemingly hours, she was able to take a step forward, and then another. The urge to comfort Lucifer was slowly overriding her fear of the creature he had become. _No, not become, just transformed into. He’s still Lucifer. He’s been telling me since day one._

 

She took a deep breath watching the man in front of her shaking and crying silently. The wings struggled to cover his face from her but she could see the resulting puddle forming below him. “Lucifer, it’s going to be okay” she whispered, her voice not confident enough to truly interrupt his meltdown.

 

_I swore I wouldn’t see him as a monster. I was so rash with him earlier but … he can’t be a monster._

 

_But I did almost marry the Sinnerman…._

 

_And my ex-husband turned out to be a corrupt cop…_

 

 _Am I really that attracted to bad boys?_ She rolled her eyes at herself. _Yes, of course, I am. I turned into my mom, ugh._ Chloe focused her attention back on the huddled mass of bloody wings and burn unit victim. _I guess it doesn’t really change the way I feel... He never lied to me. And he took a lot… a Hell of a lot, of bullets for me today. Maybe if I just…._

 

Chloe took the last step forward and reached out her hand to his wings. They looked too painful. She leaned forward just a bit more and slid her fingertips across the top of his head, settling her hand on him. He twitched upward a fraction of an inch before collapsing the rest of the way to the floor, unconscious. Her heart skipped a beat thinking he might have just died but his chest is still heaving from the ordeal, possibly a panic attack. She kneels beside him as best she can without touching his wings but before she can speak the door to her left bursts open.


	3. Ella!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A scene told from Ella's perspective mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The best feeling ever is waking up and finding people have commented on something I wrote and they think it’s actually worth me pursuing. Thank you to everyone reading, giving kudos, and especially commenting because it reminds me that I can’t let you down.
> 
> 10 Points to Myria83 for guessing Ch 3’s subject correctly.
> 
> PS.Suggestions for plot direction are welcome!

 

**Earlier that afternoon, with Ella & Dan in the Penthouse**

 

The distant sound of guns firing echoed over the phone as Chloe hung up on Dan. He was in shock as it hit him that he might just lose a second woman in his life today.

 

“Dan, we have to help them!” Ella was panicking. She was never involved in the action, she was forensics for a reason. Forensic evidence sat still and let you analyze it, situations like this were always too short on time and too chaotic to be able to think clearly about the problem. There were just too many variables in motion.

 

“What do you want me to do Ella? Backups already been called in and we can’t just leave this guy here alone.” Dan paced back and forth through the room, running scenarios in his head, most of them ending with Chloe bleeding out without him.

 

“Let’s lock him in the cellar, there has to be cellar here somewhere...” Ella took off down the stairs, searching for any room with a door, let alone a lock. _How come Lucifer doesn’t have any doors in this whole penthouse? Is he claustrophobic?_

 

“Ella, we don’t have time for this” Dan sighed but started wrapping the suspect in a lot of duct tape anyway, knowing she was right.

 

“At least I’m trying.” Ella muttered to herself. She searched the first floor and although there was huge storage area for the alcohol, it was locked. Just as she was about to give up, Ella stumbled onto a small door labelled “Keep out Maze” and opened it to reveal a pantry filled with Cool Ranch Puffs, Pringles, and Nutella. _I can’t believe he has a whole closet for when he gets the munchies._ “Booyah! Dan drag him down here, I think we can leave him in the Puff Pantry.”

 

They locked him in, but only after Dan grabbed a whole armful of Cool Ranch Puff bags. Ella raised a skeptical eyebrow. “What? He eats all my yogurt… it’s only fair.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

They arrived at the scene before backup, which was probably caught in LA traffic. Throwing caution to the wind, Ella rushed through the door to see Chloe kneeling next to a … something… on the ground _. Lucifer, it must be Lucifer, there’s no other person that would receive such a caring look from Chloe._

Ella rushes to her friends and starts cataloging the damage done to Lucifer. He’s unconscious, and his breathing is labored. He has a cut across his arm that’s still bleeding but it doesn’t look too dangerous. His lungs sound ... wet. It looks like blood found its way to his lungs. Probabilities and possible solutions flash through her mind like lightning as Ella struggles to figure out what to do next. She’s seen that pen trick done on TV but ... she doesn’t really trust herself to pull something like that. Especially with Lucifer looking so wounded. _How can this even be Lucifer? He looks like something from a sci-fi movie. I guess he’s not a method actor then… which is good because if he spent that long trying to get the same part it would have been sad. We can’t take him to the hospital looking like this. And Chloe isn’t even talking, she probably needs to get checked out by doctors too. What am I supposed to do now?_

Feeling out of her depth, Ella does what she always does in times of dire need. She prays. _God, what do I do? How do I help him?_ The big guy is silent as usual. _Rae Rae, help, I can’t lose Luce. He's one of my best friends. ...And he’s dying._

In the blink of an eye, Rae Rae appears in front of her with a gasp, “Lu! Oh Lu, what have they done to you?” She puts a hand on his chest, feeling the pain and sorrow her brother has endured over the course of his existence. It’s then that she notices the other hand on Lu. “CHLOE. Oh shit, Chloe. You make him mortal. You have to get out of here. Get as far away from him as you can.”

“I can’t leave him,” she whispered, her hand shaking while she caressed his bare head. Words tumbled out between half sobs, “Not after everything I said. Not after… after… all those bullets. For me. He’s like this because of me…” Her hand travelled down the side of the Devil’s face, tracing familiar cheekbones and the still definitive, aristocratic chin.

“You must go. He will heal when you leave, but his love for you makes him weak and right now...” Azrael looked far older now than she ever had when visiting Ella. Ella’s eyes bounced back and forth between Rae Rae, Chloe, and the Devil. She had never felt so helpless. And if Rae Rae was right, it was imperative that Chloe overcome her panic.

“Right now, you’re killing him. He can’t breathe with blood filling his lungs. If you dont leave now, he’ll die.” Ella could see the panic warring in Chloe, but how can you say no to an angel? Chloe stands unsteadily and with one last look at Lucifer, she takes off running down the hallway and into the road.

Ella finally notices that Dan had been sitting on the floor all the while, staring into space like he’d smoked a whole bag of weed by himself. She moved to check on him and while he was obviously in shock, he was still breathing and blinking.

Rae Rae spreads out her wings and plucks three feathers, putting a feather on arm wound and each of the others on ridges of each wings. They were already healing slowly with the exodus of Chloe, but the addition of a sibling feather sped the process. Ella could see the skin stitching itself together and bullets being forced out of his wings.

_Why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t trust me? My best friend is an angel and my new bestie is a fallen angel. I am friends with two angels. I took the Devil to a church to find God. Thank God, (Lucifer’s abusive dad?) that Rae Rae could hear my prayers and help Lucifer heal. What would I have done without her? What am I supposed to do about Dan? Maybe those feathers can heal his brain too?_

Overwhelmed by all these thoughts, and with the background concern that it was taking police backup way too long to arrive. Ella sat down on the floor next to Dan and pulled him into a sideways hug. She began rubbing his back as she watched for any sign of consciousness from Lucifer.


	4. Confusion

Lucifer came slowly to consciousness, feeling his various wounds stitching back together. _If I'm healing, then the Detective must have finally run away. Good for her. She doesn't deserve my devil face. She's better off without me._ He tried to sink back to oblivion to wait out the attack that he was sure would happen when backup arrived to clear the scene. Or maybe more of Cain’s men would arrive to take revenge on him.

 _I'm sorry Detective, I never wanted you to see me like this._  


His brain suddenly received a strange message from his body. Someone was touching him. Caressing his head and his back. _That doesn't make sense. Who would touch a freak like me?_ He shied away from the strange hand, hiding further into himself.

 

"Come on Lu, wake up."

 

 _Azrael!?! No, I must be in Hell. Azrael would never visit me. She doesn't care about me... no one does._ He tucked his mostly healed wings tighter around him in a cocoon. _The Hell visions can't get me if I don't come out._ The hand he assumed was Azrael’s left and new hands began stroking his wings. _This feels nice, too nice for this to be Hell, it must be some other trick._  


"Lucifer," Ella ventured, trying to convey her concern through contact with his feathers. "We have to get you out of here. More cops will be here any second and I don't want them to hurt you."

His head popped up out of his wings like a ground squirrel, "Ella?" He had forgotten in his surprised that he had the roasted Devil face stuck and the poor girl screamed and jumped before catching herself.

"Luce, geeze buddy, don’t surprise me like that! Come on, let's go. I need your help hauling Dan out… or maybe we should just let the paramedics handle him?"

  
"I am so sorry Miss Lopez, don't look at me. I'm a monster. You should run away like the - like she did."  
He turned away from her and caught sight of Dan staring at him. His eyes felt warm and his lower lip was expressing itself against his will. Try as he might to pretend he was okay in front of Ella, he was losing the battle. _I'm sorry Daniel. I break everything I come in contact with. It seems I may have broken you as well._  


He could feel Ella tugging on his arm but what was the point? SWAT could take him. No, the detective had left, so he was immortal again. _I should leave and never return. There’s nothing left for me here. Maze hates me. The Detective is scared of me. I only cause problems and put people at risk. How many times has she been hurt because of me?_

  
He stood slowly, glancing only briefly at Ella and Rae Rae with the saddest puppy face. He would miss them, but at least this exile to Hell would be of his own choosing. First, he would need to alert Patrick... Maze may have abandoned him, but Patrick was a loyal employee. A note to close the club and half a million dollars should cover any trouble.

  
It seemed Ella had been talking to him for the past few minutes... he couldn’t really hear her, processing human words was beyond him in this state.  _She looks so sad. I am a monster, a murderer, of course she’s sad to have misjudged another friend. Azrael will take care of her. She doesn’t need me causing her more pain. I don’t want to ruin her relationship with God like I did my own._ She was standing so close. She didn’t look scared... so he reached out quickly and pulled her in for a hug before he could chicken out. "I am so sorry Ella. I just... I can't ... I can't" and before his panic attacks could take hold again, he turned and ran. He flew up and out the shattered window headed for Lux.

 

 **MEANWHILE**  


Chloe’s feet had taken her where they wanted to be without her paying attention. She looked up at Lux and was lost as to whether she should bother going in. There shouldn’t be anyone here but perhaps the familiarity was what she craved. Memories of the good times flittered through her mind, images of her Lucifer playing the piano. Memories of him begrudgingly being befriended by the priest. The smell of his shampoo when they danced. She snuck in through a side door and up the stairs. The urge to play Heart and Soul on his penthouse piano calling to her, perhaps because this would likely be the last time she would ever see him.

 

There’s no way he could stay on as consultant looking like the Devil. He is the Devil. _He is the Devil._ Standing in the entry way to his penthouse, surrounded by the recollections of the dorky man she knew, she was having a hard time reconciling him with the way he looked earlier that day. _Lucifer isn’t the Devil, he’s just a fallen angel._ He never lied to her. She knew he couldn’t lie, he wasn’t even good at making jokes, so who she’s worked with all this time must be the person he really is. He wouldn’t waste effort on pretending to be someone else. Suddenly, his Devilness didn’t seem to be such a big deal, of course there was still that whole ‘God is real and he’s an asshole’ thing. And Hell is real. And Maze is a demon, no wait, that one makes total sense. Now the holes in the wall seem a little more understandable. She took a deep breath and sat down at the piano. “I can do this, we can do this. We’ll be fine. He’s still Lucifer.”

 

She started randomly tapping keys trying to keep herself distracted. The thought of him in pain, dying from all those bullet wounds kept tugging at her mind but she kept forcing it to the back. He would be okay, he had to be okay.

 

~*~*~*~

Lucifer landed on his balcony, exhausted, and depressed. He wanted to scream and throw things or curl up on his bed and hide. He wanted to cry.

 

Taking a deep breath, he strode into his room, tucked away his wings, and dived under his duvet. _Why can’t I get rid of this devil face? It’s not who I am. I don’t want to be the Devil anymore, I just want to be free. This is what I get for playing with Dad’s creations. Maybe this is why Amenadiel never stuck around. I screwed up. I’m sorry Dad. I’m sorry I can’t be the good son. I always screw everything up._  
  
_What is Dad’s name is that!?!_ The most astounding noise was coming from his penthouse. And by astounding he meant terrible. Absolutely the worst noises he’d ever heard from a piano.

 

And it just kept going…

 

 _Ugh, I will sulk AFTER I take care of this…_ He dragged himself out of bed, hair sticking up everywhere, and his duvet wrapped around him like a cape.

 

 


	5. But why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took forever and I'm sure there are errors so please forgive me, I just can't keep working on it right now.

Lucifer rounded the corner of his bedroom into the open space and stopped dead in his tracks, metaphorical dead at least. _What is she doing here? She must have been driven completely mad by the sight of me to be entering my house without her gun drawn…_

 

He continued to stare as she had closed her eyes and was playing random sad sounding notes. Chloe took a deep breath, leaned her forehead on the edge of piano in front of her, and switched to the half of Heart and Soul she had played with him, once upon a time.

 

Lucifer couldn’t sit still any longer. He had to say something, he just didn’t know what. His skin was flickering back and forth between human and monster. “Ahem…”

 

She whirled around on the piano bench, “Lucifer! You’re – You’re here; you’re alive!” _She’s happy to see me? Has she forgotten what I did already? Amnesia perhaps?_

 

“Yes, well, … apologies, Detective… I’ll just be on my way back to Hell, shall I?” He tried to be calm but his voice broke in the middle of his sentence. His body was betraying his terrified mind. His burned skin took over his form again as he lost control of his emotions. It was like she was a siren to him and his movement was at her mercy. Part of him wanted to leave, to run away before she could fully reject him, but another part of him yearned to stay, to keep staring at the woman who made him feel more than he ever knew existed. He turned away slowly, exaggerating his movements to give her time to react.

 

“No, Lucifer, don’t go! We need to talk...” She flinched as she said the words which everyone loathes to hear. Lucifer especially was not a talker. “It’s not what you think.”

 

He swallowed thickly around the lump of fear and nausea in his throat, “There’s nothing to talk about, I am a monster, I will endeavor not to darken your city again.” _Move. Run. How are you still here? How am I? Everything was going so well and I had to – “_

 

“I think right now it’s _me_ darkening _your_ doorstep but – but Lucifer, you’re not a monster, you’re just – you…” She struggled to find an adequate way to describe him so that he would understand.

 

“Hah,” he balked. “Do you not remember that I just killed someone? I am the Devil my dear.” He darkened his tone, throwing forward as much false confidence as he could. _She should be scared. Her instincts should be warning her, but if I’ve broken her… if I broke her maybe I can startle her back to her senses. I AM the DEVIL. But… but why is she here? Why did she come for me? I don’t understand this._

 

“That doesn’t count, killing Pierce doesn’t count.” She was shaking her head and had moved from the bench to stand in front of him, staring up at his red eyes. He took a step back towards his bedroom.

 

“What about my brother, I killed him too!” More anger flared up in him, why couldn’t she just see!?! His visage was evil, and yet she still advanced toward him?

 

“Your brother? When did that happen? You know what, nevermind. You can’t scare me off, you may be weird and annoying but you’re still Lucifer, right?” Her usually endearing obstinance was starting to wear on him.

 

“What if I’m not?” He snapped back at her. His walls were crumbling and the urge to drink was rising. Too bad she stood in between him and the bar.

 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Chloe crossed her arms and planted her feet, determined to win this and show Lucifer how incredibly stupid he was being.

 

“I’m not… I’m not the man you think I am.”

 

“Oh really, then who are you?”  
  
“I – I don’t know…” The last of his resolve crumbled and he dropped himself to the nearest chair. The strong villain façade failing to keep his pain at bay. His eyes were burning, and his breath was hitching again. He hated feeling so weak, but he couldn’t fight the confusion any longer.

 

Chloe sighed and settled across from him, _time to try a new tactic…_ “Do you remember when we first met?”

 

“Of course, but what does that – “He met her eyes with the saddest confused puppy dog face.

 

“You care so much about people, you cared so much for Delilah, and you barely even knew her.” He thought about the feel of Delilah having been shot in his arms while he hugged her. His life flashed between images of Delilah and images of Chloe. They were too similar for his liking. “You cared for Father Frank, though you surely didn’t want to. It’s just who you are. How can you think you’re a monster when you care so much for so many people.“ She saw his skin begin to flicker again, parts of his Devil face switching back to the Lucifer she knew.

 

“People hate me. I hate me. You should ask Dan, even he approved the death of Lucifer Morningstar” self-loathing dripping from his voice, Lucifer curled into a ball on the seat.

 

“But all you do is try to fulfill people’s desires…” Chloe gathered what courage she could and ran her hand along his shoulder. He felt colder than she would have guessed, like his body was hiding its warmth around his heart to protect himself. Her fingers trailed back and forth along his skin trying to calm him.

 

A mumbled “In exchange for favors” came from Lucifer’s knees where he buried himself. _Better_ , she thought as maybe it would give her an opening to convince him of his benevolence.

 

“No, I think you do it to help people. To help them express free will or pursue their dreams.” Chloe got closer to him and moved her hand up his neck, caressing him lightly.

 

“I’m still a killer, nothing will change that now” Lucifer slid off his perch and moved toward the balcony.

“We both just want to help people. We have that in common Lucifer. We shoot people to help people. So why did you kill your brother?” Chloe jumped up and tried to get between him and the ledge outside.

 

“He – he was going to kill you. And then my mum. And send me back to hell.”

 

“But he was going to hurt me, so you stopped him. Like you’ve done with so many others. And if you’re the devil, then your brother was an angel and it’s not like you could have put him in jail. He’s too powerful. You’re not evil. I’m not evil. We are just doing what we can to save as many people as we can”

 

“But look at my face!”

 

“I _am_ looking, Lucifer.” Little did he realize his face was mostly human now with just flashes of red in his eyes. _The message must be getting through despite his verbal protests._

 

“Clearly not with your eyes…” He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

 

“No you’re right, I’m looking with my heart. You always tell me to follow my instincts. I’m not wrong about you. You’re a good man Lucifer.” His wild hair and brown eyes were back in full force, letting Chloe know that she was right, he wasn’t lost to his dark side.

 

“I’m not a man at all, don’t you see?” Lucifer whispered as he tried one last time to convince her, but he was losing willpower to fight against the woman he was so obviously enthralled with.

 

“That doesn’t change that I love you.” Leaning forward, she hoped that he would try to meet her eyes. Hoping that her message would finally sink in.

 

His eyes shutter closed. Breathing deeply, trying to stop himself from shaking and his world from spinning. _How could she love me? It just isn’t possible…_

 

Chloe stepped up to him as quietly as she could, her left hand reaching out, almost of its own accord, and gently, very, very gently, passing along his ear and down his face drawing him to her. His breath catches but he keeps his eyes closed, not willing to risk what look she may have on her face. Not knowing what was happening. “My beautiful, gentle, ... Devil. You ARE loved. Please… look at me, Lucifer. I need to know that you understand this. I love you. Trixie loves you. Ella and Linda and Maze love you. I think even Dan's come around now, and you are constantly riling him up. What you are doesn’t matter, we love you for WHO you are, and **you are good**.”

 

Lucifer felt a chill along his shoulders, he wasn’t used to hearing those words, quite the opposite actually, “But darling – “

 

“Look at me.” She lifted his chin, stroking her thumb along it.

  
“Chloe,” he whispered brokenly, looking up into her eyes as his own teared up.

 

“I love you,” Chloe whispered as she leaned her forehead to his. He looked ready to argue again. “Do you think I would lie to you?”

 

“No... you don’t lie to me” he smiled shyly, his heart finally seemed to be getting the message and slowed enough to relax his shoulders from up around his ears.

 

“I wouldn’t lie to you. I love you. I’m sure of it.” She kissed him, and at first it was soft and reassuring but it quickly turned into need-based, passionate exploration of each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next & final chapter is pure smut. I have started it but have no real plan so requests are welcome.


	6. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out a lot longer than I expected.  
> Special thanks to Cathy for keeping me on track.

 

Lucifer's hands felt out of place, for once in his long life; where do you touch someone who might not want the Devil’s touch? How do you show someone that you love them, and it’s not just lust? Without his mojo, he felt like a fish out of water, struggling to understand Chloe's needs. Sure, some of his moves worked on pretty much everyone, but each lover had different needs, different styles, and none of them were like his Detective. She is unique... and it terrifies him.

Chloe brought up a hand to his face, while her other wandered along his waist pulling him closer. She was so comfortable with him, even knowing what he was. How?

He mirrored her movements, stroking her face and her hip. Slowly, he lost focus of his fear and relaxed into her touch, his movements becoming more fluid. The detective noticed that her shy devil was letting her lead and decided to push her advantage. "Lucifer, what do you desire right now?" she whispered in his ear, trailing kisses down the side of his face.

"Just stay with me," he murmured into her hair. "Please."

Chloe leaned back and saw that while they both wanted more, everything was moving too quickly for Lucifer. He wasn’t used to sex with emotions and she didn’t want to push him into something he would have a hard time handling. She needed to prove to him that their relationship was special, that she wouldn’t run from him in the morning.

"Okay babe, let's go to the bed and just cuddle... no pressure." Grabbing his hand, she started to move toward the bedroom.

“But I want to make you feel good” Lucifer mumbled as he struggled to separate his urge to cuddle and from the need to please Chloe.

Chloe turned her most meaningful gaze upon her devil, trying to convince him further with her eyes. “This does make me feel good! I like being able to hold you. I like knowing you aren’t running away from intimacy. Knowing you’ll be there when I wake up.”

“Please... I want that same thing.” Lucifer was almost speechless at her blatant honesty.

“Of course.” She tugged her shoes off and pulled her bra out from under her shirt.

“Neat trick” he snorted.

“It comes in handy,” she smirked back. Chloe pushed him to the bed and pulled back the covers. “Get in fly boy!”

“Are you sure you don’t want to do anything tonight?” He tied to be suave but it was apparent that he was really concerned.

“Well, I am pretty tired and I have a feeling you would prefer to go as many times as possible on our first night,” she grinned at him. _How does such a powerful being have so much insecurity?_ He nodded solemnly at her, obviously lost in thought. “So, let’s save that for tomorrow.”

His head shot up, a surprised look crossing his face, “Tomorrow?”

“Yeah. You let me sleep now and tomorrow we will explore other 'activities'.”

“Hmmm, sounds good to me.” He grabbed her and pulled her in tight to his chest. His wings ached to wrap around her as well but he didn’t want to ruin the moment with his divinity. He was secretly very happy to postpone the sex if it meant he would have more time with her before he inevitably said something stupid and she realized he wasn’t worthy of her. He could just imagine what would happen if he couldn’t figure out how to give her what she desired. But for now, she was warm and safe in his arms. He could feel her breathing even out and her heart beat steadily under his hand.

~*~*~*~

Lucifer woke up to the warmth of a body under his and fingers stroking his head. He stayed still, basking in the caress as long as it would continue. His normal bed partners got what they desired and then left, but this was different. Slowly he became aware that the body he was covering was that of his Detective. Yesterday rushed back to him in a wave of pain and uncertainty. He pushed his face deeper into Chloe’s chest in a childish attempt to hide himself.

Chloe smiled lovingly at the display, "Good morning handsome, how did you sleep?"

He looked up at her with those sleepy brown eyes and curly bed head. "That was quite possibly the best nights rest I’ve ever had."

“Are you going to let me get up?” She ran her hand through his hair and scratched his nape gently.

“Nope,” he smiled shyly against her skin. He rubbed his hands up and down her sides, tangling his feet with hers.

“Do you want breakfast?” Chloe’s stomach was grumbling a little but she was happy just to lie under him rubbing her leg up his.

“I was going to satisfy myself with you, if you’re up for it? You can back out of course, I just –“ Lucifer sighed as his mind drifted into uncertainty again.

 _I’ve never seen him so out of sorts, I guess I need to keep him focused._ “That sounds great Lucifer, but I would like some real breakfast too. Perhaps in between rounds 2 and 3?”

“Rounds?” He laughed, surprised that she was thinking so far ahead.

“I expect nothing less after all that boasting and the parade of men and women singing your praises. I only hope that I’m interesting enough for you. I wouldn’t know what to do with a singing bowl…”

“Oh darling, I assure you, no one will ever be able to compare to you.” He leant over began kissing her face and neck. Her hips ground up into his morning wood making him groan

“Mmmmm darling, what is it you desire?" He whispered as he kissed his way down to her nipples, attending to each briefly before continuing on to her thighs. He licked and sucked her inner thigh until a hickey formed, Chloe moaning wantonly above him, now she would have a reminder of him for the next few days.

Chloe tried to focus on his question, a variety of positions flashing through her head. Just as he started to eat her out, his tongue gently laving at her clit, it came to her.

“I want to fuck you!” she shouted, mildly surprised at her own admission.

“Well that’s the idea love but…” he looked up confused.

“No, I want to penetrate you. I want you to let me dominate you. Let me drive. At least for the first round.” Her heart was racing. _He’s suggested it before but I didn’t realize how tempting it would be._

Her words went straight to his cock. It wasn’t often that someone topped him and usually that was while he was focused on a third (or fourth) person. This would be a relatively new situation for him.

“Yes, please love, allow me to fetch you a strap on. Do you have any preference? Size? Vibration?” He pushed off of the bed around her and started toward the closet.

She was suddenly nervous, “I – I – don’t know Lucifer, I just ... whatever will make you feel good.”

“Yes ma'am!” He saluted like a dork and ducked into his toy closet. Chloe started to check the bedside drawers for lube and a condom, quickly finding too many options. Actually it was a little scary how much was available.

“Grab the silicon gun oil darling, and the blue package condom will work with this toy.” Lucifer smiled gently at the slightly distraught look on Chloe’s face. She was being adventurous with him, in a way that he was sure she wouldn’t have done with other men. _She trusts me. She loves me._

Lucifer flopped onto the bed next to her and helped her to attach the strapon. His fingers stroked along her sides and licked her nipples again. Once she was set up and ready, he coated his fingers in lube and began to work himself open. He was going a little faster than he normally would but his adrenaline wasn’t letting him think clearly. “I’m ready darling, please, take me.”

Chloe had been watching him but the size of her new cock was much bigger than his fingers, and she got the sense that he would feel more pain with her around than he was used to feeling. “Just give me a minute honey, I want to feel you.” She anxiously set two lubed fingers at his entrance and rubbed the tight ring. Looking up at Lucifer, she noticed his shit-eating grin as he silently laughed at her tentative behavior. Chloe shoved her fingers in suddenly and twisted, laughing to herself at his moan.

“Yes, rough, I like it.” Lucifer thrust his hips back on her fingers.

She started to open him up for real, scissoring her fingers in her ass and running her other hand along his cock. Watching him writh below her was really turning her on and soon enough she was ready to fuck him through the mattress. Moving up the bed, she lined up her dildo against his hole and thrust in quickly. Lucifer arched off the bed, his hands gripping the sheets momentarily before he focused on his love. Grabbing her head, he pulled her down into a passionate kiss, laving his tongue against hers and moaning with need.

“You’re doing wonderful love.” Lucifer’s breathing deepened and sped up; his heart was racing. She was riding his ass like there was no tomorrow and he was loving every second of it. She owned him and wanted him, and could actually _feel_ her opening him up.

“Oh yes! It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt… I’ve never – “ his breathing was short and brain short circuiting, “with someone who – ooooh there, there darling please… please….” Lucifer groaned deeply, his every nerve on fire.

She nailed his prostrate again and again, the look on his face was adorable. Like he was surprised to be receiving so much pleasure and perhaps it was his first time being vulnerable enough to feel it. Since her power over him was allowing him to feel more pain than normal, maybe that increased the friction and thus the pleasure. She caught his eyes and was overtaken by the need to be closer, deeper in him. She surged forward into jack rabbit speed.

She humped into as hard and fast as she could, her hands gripping his side and stroking his cock. She could feel her own orgasm approaching but she couldn’t tell if he was there yet. His hands came up to breasts and she pushed him away.

“I’m too close, just let me, Lucifer... I want you to come for me.” Chloe leant forward and touched her head to his, nuzzling his nose with hers.

“But darling…,” protested Lucifer.

“Come for me,” she demanded. She set her left hand on his balls cupping and rolling gently while her right started jacking him off in time with her stuttering thrusts. She wouldn’t be able to keep this up much longer; she was almost there. All she wanted was to see him come. To see him lose control for her. See him learn how good he could feel.

“Lucifer, I desire _your pleasure_. Please babe. Please.”

Lucifer’s eyes, previous lidded in pleasure, shot open to see his love finally, finally, telling him what she truly desired from him and it was his own happiness. Like the genie in Aladdin being granted freedom. No one had ever asked for this. For his sake. For his pleasure. She was his first, his only, and it hit him like a ton of bricks. His balls tightened and he clenched his legs around her ass, pulling her deeper into him. She tumbled forward into his chest where he buried his nose into her neck and came hard against her belly. His cock pulsed again and again, his hips thrusting out his control, hands tense against her back. "Chlllllooe" he breathed next to her ear. "Chloe, I love you"

He relaxed back into to the bed, exhausted, and already halfway to unconscious.

Chloe's orgasm had come in a tidal wave during his, gushing out around the base of the toy. She was breathing hard and kissing the side of Lucifer’s head as she relaxed on top of him, smirking to herself. It looked like she was able to rock his world, despite the number of lovers he had had before. Suddenly the feel of the toy was too much, her sensitive body throbbing around it. Gently, she eased out of Lucifer and went to undo the straps.

A whine from the bed caught her attention and Lucifer was reaching out, eyes closed, but his hand searching for her. He looked utterly debauched. She ran her fingers along his leg as got up.

Her shaking hands managed to get the toy off her, and she stumbled to the bathroom for a wet rag. It was different for her because normally the guy would come back and clean her up but it looked like Lucifer wouldn’t be able to move for a while. When she came back with a water bottle and washcloths, she caught sight of Lucifer’s face. He was... crying? _Why is he crying?_

“Lucifer...” she placed a hand on his still outstretched arm

His eyes shot open. “You didn’t leave?”

“No, babe, of course not. I brought you this.” She handed him water and went to wipe his come up but he grabbed her in a hug and pulled her down on top of him awkwardly. He couldn’t speak. He was so positive just a moment ago that she had abandoned him. He wanted her close, and never to leave him again. It was a new urge for him. He wasn’t usually this needy but something in him had snapped and reformed itself around his detective. He knew with certainty that he would forever be hers. He nuzzled into her as she pushed away his hip again to try to clean them up.

 _Why bother, we will be messy again soon enough_ he thought as he kept trying to curl around Chloe.

His affections were distracting her. He was never this touchy before. She cleaned them both quickly and discarded the towel, lifted the blanket, and slid in next to him.

“Round 2 darling?”

“I need a power nap Luce…” she murmured against his chest as his arms surrounded her gently.

“Mmmmm that sounds lovely. You rest and I will keep you safe.” Lucifer drifted in and out for an hour while his detective snuggled into the crook of his arm, he adored watching his little Albanian field wench snore. She loved him. He had never felt more whole in all his existence.

~*~*~*~

When she woke back up, she could feel his hard-on below her and his fingers rubbing small circles on her back. She looked up to see him smugly smiling down. “How are you feeling darling?” Lucifer ran his fingers through her hair, straightening it slightly.

“Mmmmm ready for another go, how about you?” Chloe grabbed his ass with one hand and tried to be sexy. (She forgot how bad her attempts at “spontaneous” had gone in the past.)

“Actually, my ass is a bit sore, maybe we could move on to another of your fantasies for a bit?” Lucifer made a concerned face. His vulnerability was definitely showing.

“Hmmm… how about just regular… making love” she suggested shyly.

“Yes, darling, making love sounds perfect,” Lucifer wiggled from underneath her.

Chloe whispered in his ear, “and then how about some hardcore BDSM?” Lucifer looked up sharply. “Then you can show me how you get out of cuffs so easily.”

"Mmm, can we make love with you on top? Ride me into submission, take the devil by the horns?" He rolled them so that she was top and rubbing her center along his cock.

"Well I was a bit disappointed that you don't have love handles" she murmured as she sat up on his waist, grinding down onto him.

"Whats that darling? I am too fit for you? I _have_ seen Daniel's body, and I know he doesn’t have an ouch of fat on him."

"No. I meant devil horns as handles..." she admitted, embarassed.

"Oh yes, Maze told me about that," he laughed.

"She did? Ugggh, I am going to kill her." A thought occurred to her and she hesitated to say it.

"What is it darling?" Lucifer cocked his head to the side.

Chloe hesitated another second before braving, "Would you show me your other skin again?"

Lucifer frowned, "I do not like that side of me. It is not a part of me that I want you to have to endure." He looked away briefly before glancing back at her.

"Please Lucifer, I want you to feel comfortable with me. You shouldn’t have to hide and I have no reason to be scared of you, right?" Running a hand along the side of his face, she waited for him to face him and then kissed him soundly.

"Of course not." He let his skin slowly change back to his devil side then hid his face against her chest.

“Thank you for trusting me with this,” she kissed him again, this time on the top of his scarred head and running her hand along his back.

“Can I switch back now?” He whined, ashamed of his dark side.

“Yes, of course handsome.” Chloe stroked his back as his body, tense from the switch, started to relax back into her again.

He switched back and nuzzled the side of her face before sliding down to her body to her pussy and burying his tongue into her heat. He licked in and around her labia. She was already wet and seeing him so interested in pleasing her was even more of a turn on. Chloe moaned as he sucked on her clit and he could feel her come on his chin.

Lucifer climbed up the bed, making eye contact with Chloe and trying to be seductive. His eyes accidently turned red and he looked away quickly.  
  
“No don’t, it’s … it’s kinda hot.” Chloe grabbed his face and kissed him as she hooked her foot behind his ass and pulled his crotch to hers. He stroked his cock and slid slowly into her, feeling the tightening around his head. He closed his eyes as he fucked into her, feeling her fingers twisting into his hair and tugging gently. Lucifer massaged her breast and kissed up the side of her neck. _I could get used to this._

He bounced against Chloe, trying to find her g-spot in this position. He slid up onto his knees, pulling her up with him and finally she made that high-pitched noise that signified that he found right spot. Noting that in his mind, he growled and doubled his efforts, fucking into her faster and latching on to her nipple. They moaned simultaneously and she ran her fingers along his head again, scratching his scalp. He was so close, he just wanted to bring her to orgasm first. Lucifer used his thumb, squished between their bodies, to rub her clit in small circles. He could feel how engorged her clit was and it was making his cock throb with arousal.

“Yes, Chloe, yes, please come for me.”

“Lucifer!” She shouted as she clenched around his hardon, arched her back, and as he pulled out slightly, she squirted all over his cock and balls. He thrust back in and out a few times, causing her to squirt on each pass against her g-spot. She was soaking him in her juices and he couldn’t hold out any longer. He slid home and tightened his embrace around her as he came, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and sweat, rubbing his face along her hair as he panted in her ear.  
  
“Detective, I am yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If/when I write a BDSM scene for this it will be part 2 of a series so it has separate tags. I don't want to scare anyone.


End file.
